This Is How It Feels
If you count the bathroom, my apartment has five rooms. In only two of those rooms are the windows useable for window AC units: the kitchen and the office/litter box room. Technically I could put a window unit in my bedroom too but if I used the window closest to my bed, the air would constantly be blowing in my face. If I used the other window, the cat would lose his perch to look out at the world, and we all know that sacrifices must be made to keep the cat happy.
For a long time I only had one window unit which was in my office. It was the best place because it was in between the living room and my bedroom so some of the cool air would migrate to those place as well. The kitchen and bathroom would still be ungodly hot, but I spend the least amount of time in those rooms, so it didn’t matter as much to me. Still, when my dad retired and moved into his house and found himself with an extra window unit, I happily claimed it as my own and put it in my kitchen window. With the two units working together from opposite ends of the apartment, the place almost felt like it had central air.
This summer has been hot. I don’t think it is the hottest on record, but who really cares about the records when you’re sweating the second you wake up in the morning? It has been hot, that’s all I know. The air conditioners in my windows have been running around the clock pretty much since June. That was the case until a few weeks ago when the AC in my office, the one that has served valiantly for going on seven years, gave up the ghost. While the fan still works on the unit, it can no longer cool the room. I now rely on a couple of fans and ritual sacrifices to the weather gods to keep the front half of my apartment habitable.
When I only had one AC unit I was fine with it, but once I had two I was certain I would never be able to go back to life with only one air conditioner. This two AC lifestyle that I found myself living was the good life and I certainly wasn’t going to give it up come hell or high electric bill. I never thought I would be able to put up with less air conditioning, but this summer I find I can tolerate it just fine.
I find I am able to tolerate the heat primarily because of money. While I wouldn’t call myself broke, I am definitely not in a position to go buy a new AC unit on a whim. More than that, in all likelihood I will be moving out of my current apartment at the end of the year because rumor has it that my landlord isn’t renewing any of our leases. This building, which is a remnant of the Victorian era, is destined for the wrecking ball and will be replaced by new apartments or condos which no one currently living on this property will be able to afford.
All of which is to say: 1) I have to save money for a move later this year, and 2) there is really no point in buying another air conditioner when I don’t know if I will even need it in a new place.
I’ve never been a frugal person or even planned ahead as much as I have been lately. My mom and my sister, they always have a plan, every day. When I was a kid during the summer my mom would ask me, “What’s your plan for today?” and I would be like, “Mom, please. It’s summer. There are no plans. I go where the wind takes me.” (The wind most often took me on my bike into town to buy snacks, nail polish and Archie comics at the pharmacy. See? Not frugal.)
The weirdest thing about this summer has been how much I have planned ahead. Confronting the fact that I most likely have to move, combined with the reality that I will need to replace my car in the next year or two, plus knowing that my cat has malfunctioning eyeballs and a lackluster immune system has me on edge about money. I’ve cut out or cut down on my more expensive habits (DoorDash, Starbucks, buying limitless yarn and books on a whim) and am keeping a close eye on all my account balances. To take advantage of the deals out there I have joined quite a few rewards programs for the stores I frequent, despite the fact that this increases the volume of my email inbox exponentially. To increase the possibility of getting a raise at work, I’ve been putting more effort into my professional development plans, working faster and harder on earning a project management certification. I even started shopping for Christmas already in an attempt to spread the cost of the holiday out over several months to keep from spiking my credit card bill right around when I will be moving.
That is so unlike me. Typically I shop in the last couple weeks leading up to Christmas, sometimes even right up until December 24th for stocking stuffers and such. But now, in the first half of August when I have a free moment, I am on my phone looking up possible gift ideas for my nieces and nephews. I already have a couple of stacks of items around the apartment that, come December, will be dusted off and wrapped up in the seasonal paper that is already leaning against my bookshelf. I am so freaking prepared; I barely recognize myself.
I am also unfamiliar with this person who, despite a lifetime of demanding climate controlled environs especially in the summer, is perfectly fine with sleeping in a room that is too warm and humid. If I position the fan exactly right, I find I can get through the night just fine. And during the heat of the day I just spend more time in the back half of the apartment, closer to the working AC unit. These actions, which would have been unthinkable to me even a year ago, now seem like the only logical and adult choices; the best choices for me and my account balances.
The next time my mom asks me what my plan is, I think I might actually have an answer. I can’t be sure, but I think these are the early signs of my becoming a real life grown up. Ever since my twenties I’ve wondered when I would start to feel like an adult. Maybe this is it?
