Smallpox Blanket
During my first weekend alone in my new apartment I spent a lot of time deciding what kinds of craft projects I wanted to start to add to my decor. On the wall to the right of my TV I have two pieces of artwork: one is of Princess Leia, and the other is of Ron Swanson. After a few Google searches I decided on two inspirational quote pieces to go with each piece of art. For Princess Leia, a cross stitch piece that says “A woman’s place is in the Resistance”. For Ron Swanson, another cross stitch reading, “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing”, a classic quote from Parks and Recreation.
Immediately I found patterns and dug through my collection of supplies to determine what I had and what I needed. I made a list and proceeded to the nearest craft store where I gathered the colors of embroidery floss that I required plus another set of needles (somehow the thing I lose the most is embroidery needles…my furniture is probably full of them).
On my way to the checkout I of course stopped by the yarn section. Any good self-respecting craft addict always stops by the yarn section even if yarn isn’t on the shopping list. There I found a really nice, thick, soft, and fuzzy blanket yarn that would match the new rugs in my apartment. For awhile I had been wanting a big giant blanket to snuggle under on the couch on cold winter evenings. My sister had given me a gift card to this particular craft store for Christmas. The stars were aligning and I decided that buying this yarn to make a blanket was meant to be. It even came with a blanket pattern on the label. I immediately bought two skeins of the yarn which was everything that was in the store, knowing that I would need to order more.
When I got home I put aside the cross stitch projects that originated the whole adventure and immediately started on the blanket. I tried the pattern on the yarn label, but one and a half rows into it I realized I hated the pattern so I took it out and found a new pattern online. The new pattern required way more yarn, so I hopped online and ordered another 10 skeins. Impatient for the yarn to arrive, I also searched around other local stores and found a few other skeins that would allow me to keep working on the blanket until my shipment arrived. All in all I went to three different stores to buy a total of six skeins in a matter of three days.
Fun fact about these skeins of yarn: they are soft and fuzzy and instinct drives one to shove their face into the yarn to savor the fuzziness. As I worked and the blanket grew longer I would occasionally hold it up against my face and rub it against my cheeks. I shoved my nose into the fuzzy crocheted rows and inhaled, only to be horrified by the scent that came out of my cozy new blanket. Somehow at least one of the skeins of yarn had picked up the nasty scent of body odor. How was that possible? It’s yarn. Images of craft store employees or warehouse workers carrying yarn jammed up into their armpits filled my mind. I quickly removed the blanket from the vicinity of my face and made plans to wash and dry the blanket as soon as it was done.
Since that weekend I have continued to work on this blanket with what you might call urgency. All I want is to finish this thing so that I can sit under it during the cold winter nights that are already happening. I want to sit under this blanket while working on the cross stitch projects that are still waiting to be started.
Unfortunately, about a week after starting the blanket project I came down with a nasty cold. I went to bed one night feeling like I constantly needed to clear my throat. Next thing I knew I was down for several days with a fever, congestion, and a nasty cough. I continued to work on the blanket, but at a slower pace, occasionally taking breaks to nap under the work in progress.
Since moving into my apartment I haven’t gone out that much. I’ve mostly gone to various stores, drive throughs, and I went to work one day and there weren’t a lot of people there. In all likelihood I picked up my illness while out in public, I recognize this is the most likely scenario. But there is part of me that blames the blanket.
Can’t you just see it? Some germ ridden child (or adult, but I am more inclined to blame a little germ machine) shopping with their parent in a craft store grabs a soft and fuzzy skein of yarn. The child giggles and splutters with delight as they rub their little face against the skein. The parent then takes away the yarn and puts it back on the shelf, now coated in germs and waiting for some innocent person to come along and buy. Enter me: relatively innocent person just looking for some yarn to fill the void in my life with some fuzzy coziness.
Yarn purchased. Yarn crocheted into blanket. Blanket shoved into face with a deep inhale. Germs transferred. Illness instigated.
The point: smallpox blankets are still a thing. Minus the intentionality and the actual smallpox, but still. Be warned. Stay away from fuzzy yarn.
Or, you know: washing your hands would probably help too.
