Single All The Way
It has been a long time since I’ve had a boyfriend over the holidays. This year is just another in a long streak of single holiday seasons.
I am not really bummed about this. There are many benefits to being without a romantic partner from Thanksgiving through New Year’s, the primary one being that I can do whatever I want during the holidays without having to consider anyone else’s schedule or family plans.
What can I say? She’s a selfish bitch sometimes.
That, and I like my plans. This year, as in several years past, I spent Thanksgiving with my dad in an introvert’s paradise (aka staying at an inn, reading a lot, and going out for dinner). For Christmas I’m going out to my mom’s for a week, then back to my dad’s house for another week culminating in a New Year’s Eve which we will probably mostly ignore. When you add up just visiting my family, it takes more than half of the month of December. I’m not complaining about that: I love it. But how am I supposed to fit someone else’s family traditions into that mix? Sounds challenging and like I might have to give up some of my preferred plans. I’m going to let future Megan worry about that and enjoy another year of single holidays/doing whatever the hell I want to celebrate.
For sure and certain, not everyone is of the same mind. I am on two different dating apps: Match and Hinge. This is fairly common; I often see people from one app on the other as well. It just gives you a broader span of people, but really the set up and function is pretty much the same. Currently I have it set so that I receive notifications from these apps whenever someone likes my profile or sends me a message. Whenever my back pocket vibrates throughout the day it is the tiniest little thrill - maybe that was someone liking me and saying something devastatingly charming and genuine.
It’s never that, but hope springs eternal.
This year on the day before and the day of Thanksgiving, the apps were silent. No notifications all day long. It’s not unusual to go a full day without any notifications, but it was notable that for two days in a row there was nothing. It is safe to assume that most people were occupied with their families, friends, or with whomever they were celebrating the holiday. Even Friday was pretty quiet, perhaps because of Black Friday deals or the Jets game.
As Saturday dawned, the tide began to turn. Suddenly there were lots of likes coming through and a handful of messages, most of which had an air of desperation: “Hi, I’m (random dude name), you’re beautiful, want to meet for coffee?” Typically they do not start with an immediate invitation to meet, or an immediate comment on my beauty for that matter. Usually it’s, “hey”, “hi”, or just an emoji…real thrilling conversation starters. Not so after a holiday: it seems these men may have been grilled a little too much on their relationship status.
In the last day and a half I have heard from probably 8 to 10 guys, each one putting in more effort than I usually see. I even heard from a guy that I sent a like to about three weeks ago; he either truly doesn’t check the app that often, or he’s feeling a little more driven to find someone so he has something to report to his family at the next holiday gathering. I have also seen lots of profiles labeled “New Here”, meaning that they just joined the app spurred on, I imagine, by family pressure or perhaps simply because they found themselves the only single person at the table.
It’s amazing what the Thanksgiving holiday can do for the single among us. Can you just imagine the possible love stories that will come out of this rush of likes, messages, and new app members? Picture it: Jack and Jill go hand in hand to Jack’s parents’ house for Thanksgiving 2024. They sit down to dinner and someone inevitably asks, “so how did you two meet?” Jack smiles, looks around the table at his beloved family, and says, “well, last year you all were so horribly invasive and judgmental about my personal life and I left here feeling like less of a human for being single, so at three in the morning fueled by an entire pumpkin pie and several glasses of whiskey, I joined a dating app. After rabidly clicking through profiles and talking to anyone who would respond to me, I finally met Jill. You will love her as much as I do and the worst part of it all is that you will come away from this meal thinking that you did nothing wrong by prying into my life last year and making me feel wildly uncomfortable because doing so brought me to Jill. So, you know, cheers, or whatever.”
Ah, the romance of modern love.
My family is not like that, praise be. But for others that may not be the case. For them I say: Leave your single family members alone. They might prefer it that way.
Also, leave your non-single family members alone. They are making their own choices in life.
You know what, let’s all just leave each other alone. Nobody talk to anyone. Cone of silence over the family table. Anyone who expresses judgement on another person’s life situation or choices must do all the dishes. Alone. Without a dishwasher.
Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving!
